5/17/99

Dear Diary,

I finally found it! I thought my little black book was gone forever! Well it looks too much time passed to catch up on things, so I'll just start up like no time passed. Last night was really fucked up! I was sleeping soundly and then all of a sudden CRACK!!! Lightning and thunder filled the sky. I looked out my window to see what was going on was impressed by the storm. Then in the corner of my eye I saw someone. There was some tree huggin' hippie outside at 1:30AM playing in the storm. I cracked open the window and said, "Hey!! Are you god damn stupid or something?" The guy said, "Nope I'm just loving nature because nature loves me." I shouted back, "Well I hope your stupid ass gets struck by lightning." Then all of a sudden a huge flash came before my eyes and all that was left was a smoking pile of bones. Then I heard Kyle and Stan say, "Oh my God, you killed Kenny's dad." "You bastards!!" All of a sudden I woke up and realized that I had a seriously fucked up dream. I think I need to lay off the Jack Daniels before I go to bed. Well next time I might tell ya about some top quality poo-tang if I ever find some. Until then...Later.

Eric